THE STORY OF GLORY

The historical chronicling of our rise to POWER!

ABOUT GLORY

GLORY PAINTBALL

Est. 2010

Veteran owned and operated.

The life's work of charismatic cult-"like" leader, Kyle Buckmaster.

We strive to maintain a fun and safe facility for everyone from the most hardcore no-sense-of-humor scenario player, to the soft-wristed, 10-year-old bubble boy, who's never left his hover-mom's leash radius.

As long as you KEEP YOUR DANG MASK ON, you will have a great time at our facility and be perfectly safe doing it.

Our referees are the best in the business and work hard to maintain excellent customer service. They are always willing to step in, upon request, and give some TIPS to the less experienced players... Please make sure you reward their helpfulness with a monetary tip of your own; Your voluntold financial gratitude is all that stands between them and certain starvation.

ABOUT GENERALISSIMO BUCKMASTER

KYLE BUCKMASTER

Est. 1986

Kyle Buckmaster, owner/operator of Glory Paintball LLC

By Nyles Dukfaster

JUNE 7, 2021 5 PM CT

A League City native, Kyle joined the Marine Corps after graduating from Clear Creek High School in 2005. He served as an infantry machine-gunner with the 2nd Battalion, 4th Marines in Ramadi, Iraq in 2006. After being honorably discharged in 2009, Kyle decided to make his love for shooting a career and wanted to share that passion with others. He started Glory Paintball in 2010 at age 23 and has been running it ever since. Despite his biologically unexplainable facial symmetry, and imposing stature, Kyle turned his back on a promising career as a Jonestown-level cult leader and instead opted for the path less travelled, that of a struggling small business owner. Through sheer force of will, and probably a dash of autism, this self-taught welder, machinist, artist, CAD draftsman, entrepreneur, inventor etc., has spent the last decade of his life, singularly-focused on one mission, Glory Paintball, and all that that entails. When asked what his plans were for Glory in the future, here is what he had to say:

"Man, I'm always thinking about it. Day and night. It's hard to put into words for civilians to understand but essentially I'm just trying to recreate like a half dozen of the most intense moments of my time in Iraq. I want school kids looking out the class window with a thousand-yard stare; I want Dave the accountant diving under his desk because a car backfired outside; Stacy, the single mom, throwing a reflex-elbow and rocking one of her spawn in the face because they snuck up behind her. I want to provide an experience so realistic that people leave here with PTSD [maniacal laughter]. I want armor rolling down the streets, multi-storied buildings to clear, spider holes to drop grenades through, machine guns, landmines, mortars, the whole thing... just in a non-lethal form so that no one is actually getting smoked. THAT's my dream... I just need the money to do it all. One step at a time though".

Clearly passionate and wildly creative, it's this writer's opinion that Kyle [Glory Paintball] is a force to be reckoned with... That is of course if he doesn't just flip the market upside down with this "secret project" he's been working on in his spare time.

Nyles Dukfaster is a columnist with Made Up BS Quarterly